Dropping the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary is life-changing.

Notice each time you think or say ‘should’ and take a moment to re-phrase the sentence to what you would like to do (to what is pertinent and true right now) or let the thought go completely. Do you, or don’t you wish to action the should? If you do, own it, and if you don’t, let it go. Not knowing, as in ‘I don’t know right now’ is also much more constructive and grounding than carrying an energy of should forward. And if you would like to expand it even further, a powerful question to ask ourselves is: “What would I - or what would my heart - love to do right now?”

If we are using ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ in relation to someone else, recognise the inclusion of judgement on our part. And if we are using ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ against ourselves (never a great strategy for building self-trust!) it highlights we are trying to do something we don’t, on some level, wish to do…and of course, the psyche will not be able to trust in such circumstance.

‘Beneath’ a judgement will be a belief creating the judgmental thought. In identifying the belief, we can delve even deeper to highlight the personal truth, because under every judgement or behaviour lies a positive intention. It may take a little delving (for the ego-mind will try to intercept) but when we identify the positive intention, we get clarity. 

The deepest ‘should’ can be around love, in particular loving others (and hence ourselves)…a life spent trying to love as we ‘should’ as opposed to how we do. Be open to re-evaluating how you love; it opens new possibilities in relation to trust.