TOOLS FOR LIFE # 11

Being Contrary


If we wish to build trust, we must allow ourselves to be contrary, indecisive and vulnerable. To be able to change our minds…and to not only be OK with it, but to embrace it; to laugh, light-heartedly and respectfully with ourself. To be OK with not being perfect in others’ eyes, with not ‘being right’, and instead, revel in the joy of our inquisitiveness.

We must open from a fixed mindset, to one of growth and inclusion. It’s not the choices themselves we must trust, must get right at all cost, but our ability to trust our-self in each moment which matters most. Because each moment has the potential to be different...that’s how life is.

Despite our best efforts we cannot control what is happening out there. And truthfully, why would we want to? It’s an exhausting thought. Nor can we control the outcome of our choices. To believe so is delusional; which most of us are.

This need to ‘get it right’ creates a backfiring into our being: by limiting the choices and outlooks available. Slowly but steadily, life becomes narrower as our desire to prove our worth subdues our passion and vitality.

Instead, embrace the freedom and expansiveness of not knowing…of being misunderstood, uncertain, confused and inconsistent – it doesn’t change who you are. Adopt different viewpoints, explore what it might be like to think differently, to change our minds, to be OK with not knowing…to not have a thought. Release the need to have trust and instead be it in each moment. You will become a much more interesting person as a result.